A seemingly homeless man falls upon a woman delivering a child in a warehouse while being chased by some assholes one night (just go with it), and kills more of them within the first few minutes of this movie than many action films extinguish during their entire runtimes…and that’s only the beginning, folks! With the orphaned child and a lactating prostitute in tow, the homeless man (known only as Mr. Smith) takes part in deliriously exaggerated shoot-out sequences that will blow the ring right off the tip of your cock. Oh yeah, they do that as well. Fun times.  

An over-the-top action flick featuring as many kills as you’ll ever want to see in a 90-minute feature, as well as a number of extremely creative and memorable action sequences which vary from the lead character delivering a baby while continuing to shoot the bad guys to him nailing the lovely Monica Bellucci…while continuing to shoot the bad guys!! And the film doesn’t just inject a handful of fun dialogue into its action either, it knows that it’s as over-the-top as they come by offering playful winks at Bugs Bunny – the un-murderable rodent best known as the thorn in Elmer Fudd’s side for over five decades now – and even having the lead baddie – played delectably “ham-and-cheese” by the always-fun-to-watch Paul Giamatti – acknowledge that the bad guys must “suck” at shooting because they cannot seem to hit the good guy, no matter how many bullets they zip his way (thousands, btw). Basically, the movie delivers exactly what you’d expect from one titled SHOOT ‘EM UP and that is bodies upon bodies upon bodies being shot at (and killed) by one very blasé lead good guy (Clive Owen doing his thang), while a G-string thin plotline meanders on in the background. That was one of the few elements that I actually didn’t care for in the film, and that was its weird-ass “surrogate babies” storyline, most of which I didn’t even really understand, since movies like this generally don’t get into complex plots as such, and basically just present us with a “good guys vs bad guys” scenario…and a ton of guns. See CRANK, for instance.